Jolt! Page 8

  So I decided to focus. I redesigned my schedule so that I could focus the time, energy, and effort on completing the book. I threw out the incomplete sections and started devoting more time (undistracted time) to the writing process. I shut the door, refused to answer the phone during certain parts of the day, and started to focus on writing.

  When that happened, I noticed something amazing. The focus allowed me to go deep.

  SLEEP RESEARCH AND THE POWER OF FOCUS

  It was much like what researchers have discovered about REM sleep. In our sleep patterns we desperately need time in our REM sleep. It’s where we dream and how we recover from the day. Scientists have discovered that skipping this most productive stage of sleep has devastating results.

  Researchers have conflicting ideas about why we dream during REM sleep, but one of the theories is particularly compelling to me. Some scientists believe that dreaming allows our subconscious minds to “sort through” the experiences, thoughts, and ideas that have been floating around and helps us “connect the dots” or put them all into perspective. That would explain why our dreams mix and match various experiences—even though they make no sense on the surface. Perhaps our subconscious is trying to sort things out— putting experiences into a perspective that we would never consider with our conscious minds. The result has fascinated us since the beginning of time and spawned all kinds of dream interpretation theories, occult practices, mediums, and wacko ideas.

  » SLEEP ON IT.

  This research has also given credence to the old phrase “Sleep on it.” My mother (and most likely yours as well) always told me to “sleep on it” when I was wrestling with a problem, challenge, or dilemma for which I just couldn’t find the answer.

  Guess what? Mom may just have been right. (Just as with a million other things.)

  Researchers today believe that when we have a difficult problem for which we need an answer, if we’ll think on the problem right before bedtime, our subconscious minds can work it out. In Newsweek magazine’s feature story, “What Dreams Are Made Of,” writers Barbara Kantrowitz and Karen Springen, with Pat Wingert and Josh Ulick, report evidence that dreaming helps certain types of learning:

  Some researchers have found that dreaming about physical tasks, like a gymnast’s floor routine, enhances performance. Dreaming can also help people find solutions to elusive problems. “Anything that is very visual may get extra help from dreams,” says Deirdre Barrett, assistant professor at Harvard Medical School and editor of the journal Dreaming. In her book The Committee of Sleep, she describes how artists like Jasper Johns and Salvador Dali found inspiration in their dreams. In her own research on problem solving through dreams, Barrett has found that even ordinary people can solve simple problems in their lives (like how to fit old furniture into a new apartment) if they focus on the dilemma before they fall asleep.

  One way I use dreams is by keeping a notebook on the side of the bed. I’ll often wake up in the middle of the night with ideas, stories, and illustrations that help whatever challenges I happen to be facing at the time. I’ve discovered that if I wait until morning, I’ll forget the idea, because our thinking is very delicate during dream states. It’s very hard to remember the first things that come to mind after waking—especially in the middle of the night. So keep a notebook by your bed and get into the habit of writing down what comes to mind as soon as you wake up.

  » WHAT DISTRACTIONS ARE KEEPING YOU FROM ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS?

  Is it a personal problem, like laziness, lack of ambition, the tug of pornography, the lure of the party life, or the well-meaning disturbance of good friends who want more of your time? Or what about business distractions, like spending too much time on the Internet, talking with coworkers, the wrong office environment, poor equipment, being hypercritical of the company, or a host of other issues?

  I recently worked with one client who was hyperattentive to the minutest details. Taking normal care of fine points is important, but this executive took it to the extreme. Whenever we would turn in a report or a television program, he would take enormous time to view it and send us a list of every possible error, inconsistency, or problem. I’m talking way over the top here—crooked staples in the report, minor grammar issues, a bad frame of video (keep in mind that video has thirty frames per second), or the slightest audio deviation. We produce programs of the highest quality, but in thirty years of producing, I’d never experienced anything like this guy.

  Then one day he came to me exhausted and overworked. He was complaining of all the responsibilities of his job and how he desperately needed help. I shared with him the idea that he might be allowing his manic attention to details to become a distraction. Anyone spending that much time looking for microscopic problems would wear himself out. Apparently, in his extreme effort to look good to the president, he was killing himself trying to find anything that might get him noticed. But his enormous effort to find tiny issues no one else would ever see was keeping him from focusing on the most significant parts of his job.

  We’ll discuss distractions in more detail in a later chapter, but for now, whatever your distractions may be, begin today to fill the void with something you can positively focus on. Identify your areas of distraction and start relentlessly practicing focus.

  » TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO CHANGE YOUR SITUATION.

  Too many people complain and expect someone else to solve their problems. Perhaps your desk isn’t right, you have a slow computer, or your office is too cramped, and you’re waiting for the company to make the change.

  You may not be able to afford making major changes yourself, but I would urge you to consider the steps you can take right now. Perhaps you can’t afford a faster computer, but you could offer to split the cost with the company. After all, if your computer is keeping you from doing excellent work, being noticed, and getting a promotion, then what are you accomplishing by waiting? Learn to take control of your story because if you don’t, someone else will.

  Is your office arranged in the most productive way? Is your desk located in a place where every person who walks by your door is a distraction? Are you too open for interruptions? If you have an assistant, is he or she helping you maximize your focus?

  Another key to learning focus is what I call the field of vision. Your field of vision is the immediate issues you face during the day—literally, what you are seeing. One of the keys to maintaining focus is to keep the things you’re focusing on in your field of vision at all times. I’ve discovered that most people are visual learners. We live in a culture that has moved from a text-based culture to a visually based culture.

  Whatever you want to focus on, keep it directly in front of you in the form of pictures, objects, or files. Keep it in your field of vision.

  I have two sets of files in my office. My assistant keeps the master file in the cabinets outside her office, but I keep files for immediate projects on my desk. I can see them, think about them, and if I’m not doing something about them, those files act as a constant reminder. Our production supervisor keeps an updated list of our projects, my assistant keeps my to-do list, and they both make a practice of making sure I see those lists on a regular basis. By keeping those projects in my field of vision, it helps me eliminate anything else that may be competing for my time.

  Make a list of the top five things that you feel you need to focus on right now. Once you get those projects, priorities, or issues on the list, begin to eliminate any distractions that would keep you from intense, focused concentration on accomplishing those changes in your life. Finally, keep those items in your field of vision. Keep the list on your desk, or better yet, keep physical reminders in front of you. If it’s a book you need to read, keep it in your bag; if it’s a project, keep the folder on your desk. Begin today practicing the power of focus and let it begin to clarify the changes and goals that will keep you on the journey toward change.

  » JOLT #10

  A CHANGE OF HABIT

  Breaking D
estructive Patterns of Behavior

  The second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.

  —FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY, RUSSIAN NOVELIST

  A dictionary defines habit as “a recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition.” But there’s also a negative definition for the word habit: “an addiction—especially to a narcotic drug.”

  Habit is a powerful thing—much like the overwhelming pull of a drug, as noted in the second definition. Breaking habits is one of the most difficult things a man or woman can do. You would probably admit that many of your habits are negative, but the fact is, when you learn to break those negative habits and beg in to harness positive behaviors, your life will change exponentially— because habits are repeated. And anything done over and over again will soon become part of your personality.

  » But what if we could create positive habits?

  It’s been said that the only thing constant is change. But let me take that a bit further and say that when change becomes constant—or habitual—your life begins evolving to a new level.

  Most experts would say that consistency is the key to everything. I dated a girl in college who wanted to be a concert pianist. Her life was designed around practicing the piano for at least four hours per day. It definitely cut back on our dating life, but I saw how regular, constant practice transformed her into a brilliant pianist. A professional athlete has to practice on a consistent basis if he or she is to become a champion.

  What do you want to be? A better leader, a champion athlete, a successful entrepreneur, a real estate mogul, a movie producer?

  How often do you practice?

  Perhaps you can’t actually make a movie, sell real estate, or lead an army every day, but you can practice the skills that successful people in your industry have acquired. Make it a habit so you’ll do it without thinking, because that’s when things start happening.

  And while we’re talking about practice, let me explode the common myth that practice makes perfect. As legendary football coach Vince Lombardi said, “Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.” My college girlfriend would not have benefited one bit from all those long hours of practice if she hadn’t been practicing correctly. We have to take the time to learn the right techniques, get the right advice and coaching, and make sure every time we practice, we’re doing it correctly. Good habits come out of good practice.

  Search the Internet or your local bookstore and you’ll find plenty of resources for changing habits. Smoking, overeating, laziness, lack of motivation, overspending, lack of exercise—there are plenty of reasons to break negative habits and plenty of organizations, self-help groups, books, and teaching videos that testify to America’s dark descent into too much smoking, eating, drinking, spending, and a host of other ills that plague our society.

  Some people have extremely negative habits, and in a few cases they can contribute to injury, illness, or death. In those cases, I urge you to seek professional help from a doctor, mental health counselor, or pastor. Too many people look for easy answers to difficult challenges. The techniques in this book can get you moving in new directions and transform your thinking about change.

  But if you’re facing serious obesity, addiction to drugs, gambling, sex, or similar life-destroying situations, I strongly suggest that along with this book, you seek professional help from qualified health care or counseling professionals.

  But in most cases, a regular program of repetition and accountability can start you on the path to releasing your destructive habits, and opening the door to new, positive habits can impact your life in exciting ways. Some experts suggest a ten-day program, and others suggest up to thirty days or more, depending on the issue. To be honest, I’ve never seen compelling research that supports a particular number of days. Everyone is different, and everyone’s “habit sensitivity” is set at different levels. Personally, I recommend at least ten days to change significant habits in most people.

  Regardless of how entrenched your habits are, how do you break them? What do you do in those ten days?

  1. FIRST, ISOLATE THE HABITS YOU WANT TO BREAK.

  They might be small habits, like drumming your fingers on a desk when you’re nervous, or twitching your nose in a meeting. They might be small, but they may drive your coworkers, boss, or spouse crazy. Small to you may be huge to others.

  My wife tells me I have a rather annoying habit of making circles around my mouth with my finger when I’m thinking. I don’t notice it, and I imagine it helps me concentrate, but it drives her nuts. Sitting in a movie, in church, or in a meeting, she’ll catch me in the act, grab my hand, and pull it away from my mouth. Very small thing to me, very big thing to her.

  By the way—just because you have a small habit doesn’t mean it won’t be hard to break. Very often the small habits are the most difficult to change because they work “under the radar.” We usually don’t even notice them, so it’s difficult to alter our behavior. That’s a key reason for our first step—isolating the habit—because it makes us notice.

  On the other hand, you might want to change a really significant habit. I don’t have to take the time to remind you how some bad habits can whittle away at your career or relationships. Habits like these are career killers, marriage killers, and can permanently end a promising future.

  “But Phil, you’re being overly dramatic. Showing up late doesn’t matter that much.” To others, showing up late means you don’t respect their time and if you don’t respect their time, you won’t respect them. It may not matter to you, but believe me, it matters to the person constantly having to wait for you.

  “But my reports don’t have to be perfect.” The smallest mistakes in reports or other correspondence can cost plenty. A misplaced comma, period, or quotation has changed the meaning and result of major projects. A misquoted statement or story can result in legal action. A mistake with a single number can cost a company millions of dollars. Mistakes in business can have serious consequences.

  » HABITS CAN HAVE ENORMOUS CONSEQUENCES—NOT JUST FOR US BUT FOR OUR LOVED ONES AS WELL.

  Isolate your habits. Make a conscious list so you’ll begin to notice the things you want to change.

  2. NEXT, MAKE A NOTE ABOUT THE HABIT.

  Notice how often you perform the habit and make a note. Call attention to it.

  Make it a big deal. Part of the reason we let our habits grow is that we let them live in the invisible world. Just like circling my mouth with my finger when I’m thinking. I don’t notice it, and because I don’t notice it, I continue the habit.

  Noting the habit means writing it down—making note—and calling attention. Negative habits are the enemy to a successful life, and any military commander will tell you the key to defeating an enemy is to make the enemy visible. Radar, sonar, infrared, and satellite tracking are technologies designed to make the invisible, visible. When we can see the enemy clearly, we have the best chance of defeating it.

  When you notice a bad habit and call attention to it, it allows you to see how often it disrupts your life or how many times you do it. Perhaps for the first time, you’ll see not only why it drives your friends and coworkers nuts but also how it negatively impacts your life as well.

  3. AFTER YOU’VE MADE NOTE OF THE HABIT,

  TAKE THE TIME TO EVALUATE AND UNDERSTAND IT.

  Think about the habit and how that behavior can be broken and eliminated. What will it take to change?

  When I work with organizations on strategic thinking and planning, I use the question, “What will have to be aligned for this to happen?”

  In other words, to accomplish our goal for the organization, what steps will have to be in place? What will have to be changed in order to reach our goal of $100 million in sales? What will have to be determined to design a more creative environment for our employees? What will have to be in process to meet our goals for next
year?

  » WHAT WILL HAVE TO BE ALIGNED IN YOUR LIFE TO DEFEAT YOUR NEGATIVE HABITS?

  I met a man who was wrestling with pornography. He wasn’t a hard-core addict, but he knew it was a problem for him and wanted to put a stop to it before it gained control of his life. At times he would sneak adult magazines into his office or rent an adult movie in his hotel room on a business trip or view Internet porn on his computer after work. I suggested that he shortcut opportunities to let his habit kick in and that he avoid even the temptation. We outlined areas that would help. We purchased a software program that not only blocks pornographic websites but also sends an e-mail to his wife if he tries to access an adult site. He began avoiding newsstands in airports because of the pervasive way they advertise and display provocative magazines. And he began asking for adult movies to be blocked as a normal part of the check-in process at hotels.

  We blocked the opportunities for his habit to express itself. Purchasing the correct software, clear avoidance, proper accountability—all those things had to be in place for him to conquer his habit.

  Recently I met Delatorro L. McNeal II, a professional speaker and success coach. “Del” is one of the most motivated people I’ve ever met, and we became acquainted when he was on the set of a television program we were shooting. Del told me that early in his life he found himself stuck in a terrible family situation and, as a result, he was labeled an “at-risk child” by the local school system.

  As an African-American young man, he was trapped in the inner city with limited options, and after a few years the “at-risk” label stuck. He began to view himself as at-risk and soon realized that label dictated his future.